Confessions of a Doomscroller
Reformed. Now a joyscoller.
Good day readers!
As the title of this newsletter indicates, I’m going to discuss my evolving use of social media, and how I approach it in the 2020s. Before we get to that I’d like to offer some background information about my interest in technology and my appreciation for it.
As I’ve mentioned before I’m an Arts graduate who tripped into a tech career, which was typical of the late 1990s. It also wasn’t so surprising when you consider that I’ve always been a geek, long before it was cool to declare that, especially if you were a girl.
When I was younger I consumed any kind of speculative fiction going, be it in comics, prose or movies. This was during the genre-poor pre-Internet era in small-town Ireland, so any oddball TV show or cool animation series was seized upon. In particular I loved the tech of science fiction. Whether it’s cool to admit it or not, I adored the tanks, the weapons, the spaceships, and the gadgets in futuristic science fiction. That early bike chase scene in Akira (1988)? Boy, was I hooked. The bikes were bad ass!1
The guns the colonial marines were rocking in Aliens (1986)? I loved them. Especially the M56 Smart Gun that Vasquez and Drake used. The Imperial Star Destroyers and Super Star Destroyers in Star Wars, along with the all the varieties of Rebellion spaceships… to this day I get the chills when they roar across my screen, especially some of the latest iterations we’ve seen (recent favourites include Kylo Ren's TIE silencer or the Mandalorian's N-1 starfighter).
Yup, I love tech.
We had a computer early in my home so I grew up playing video games, including the consoles my parents had in their arcade that was attached to their pub. Yes, I’m an OG player, something I don’t talk about a lot, but I’ll delve into this in more detail in another newsletter.
Even more dorky, I’m a D&D player - I’ve enjoyed numerous role-playing systems, and I’ve even run a bunch of them as a Games Master.
I’ve always been that kind of nerd. I wasn't embarrassed about it, although I got the impression from adults I should be. My interests were hugely engaging to me, so if someone disparaged them in ignorance then I considered their opinion irrelevant.
For the record, once I got into college I always knew other women who were into many of the same interests as me, although in fewer numbers. I never played a role-playing campaign that didn’t have at least another woman in it, and the early fandoms around the likes of Star Trek and Star Wars (or Doctor Who and Blakes’ 7 in the UK) had masses of women fans. We’ve always been around, but not always given much visibility. All of that has changed now, thankfully.
But I did veer into more of the less travelled areas. As a teen I painted fantasy miniatures, and I remember assembling and painting a Star Trek Romulan Warbird. Yet, I also read historical fiction, art books, romances, and mainstream novels because I was a compulsive reader, and I didn’t live in a place where I had an infinite supply of genre material. In some ways it was a good thing because it forced me into being a widely-read kid. I also had to watch the Westerns my Dad loved (John Wayne features were his favourite), musicals, historical dramas, war movies and plenty of old black and white noir because you were stuck with what was scheduled on TV. I secretly enjoyed many of them, even if I grumbled about them reflexively (you can’t be seen to like old stuff, ugh!).
So while following your passion is hugely important, it’s also an advantage to be steered into areas you do not consider cool but could be fruitful in the long run. This is something adults understand that children can’t grasp (except in hindsight).
Later on, my immersion in the emerging technology sector in Dublin in the late 90s and early 2000s meant that I’ve remained keenly interested in what new developments can offer. I managed to avoid some early tech dead ends, and never got into video tape boxed sets, but did with DVDs and CDs. I observed the rapid speed at which tech was evolving and learned to avoid being an early adopter. I tend to monitor how much something is being used and figure out its place in the landscape. After watching so many tech trends come and go I appreciate that most kit we consider essential today will be superseded tomorrow, and occasionally, return renewed. What kids grow up with today will be quaint by the generation following them.
The more things change the more they stay the same.
I’ve tried out many, many social media platforms at this point (more recently since the social media landscape is having one of its cyclical convulsions). I use ones where I can see their utility, and watch how they evolve, or in the case of Facebook or Twitter, devolve. I participated in both of those platforms extensively when they first launched, and I enjoyed the connection to friends and family that it first allowed. Since I understood some of the mechanisms involved in their structure I had enough sense to be wary about the personal information I shared, but despite that I’m sure the data profile on me is extensive.
It helped that I was an early tech blogger in Ireland, which caused me to create rules about how much I discussed about my personal life, especially those who were not on social media.2 Blogging, like writing for Substack, requires you to craft, consider and refine the piece. These are fantastic skills for life and engaging with people. I'm lucky that I've spent a lot of time engaged in this kind of writing, as it's improved my critical thinking and how I express myself.
No one begins as a discerning person. The upcoming generation may have tools at their fingertips to fashion polished online personas, but at best they are fictions waiting to be inhabited by their mature selves. They need the space and the absolution to mess up and learn. Unfortunately, the Internet never forgets and currently rarely forgives.
Over time I began to observe the effect of being able to broadcast every passing thought was having on my friends and family, and myself.
During the past two decades we’ve have our impulse control eroded. Thanks to our instant access to social media, we can express that 'inside voice', which common sense trained us to review before employing. It’s fine at a party or a dinner table, since the polite cough and raised eyebrow teaches us that our bon mot wasn’t as scintillating as we believed, but once it’s online it’s an error forever.
Which is unfortunate for those growing up during this era. If they express every juvenile thought on social media or via forums, videos, etc. they will never recover from their adolescent stumbles as they traverse the road to adulthood.
There were a cluster of changes that rapidly altered the speed and the nature of how we engage in online conversations:
the proliferation of high speed Internet
the advent of the smart phone
4G/5G and unlimited mobile data plans
the like button
the ‘infinity pool’ style scrolling for social media platforms
Social media became an attention and engagement game, with the stress on the last part, because the ‘gamification’ of our interactions was intentional and designed to bypass our cognitive controls and addict our dopamine-loving monkeybrains.3
All the platforms quickly zeroed in on the fact that negative stories, outrage, and contempt drove the most clicks. This is hardly a new tactic. ‘If if bleeds it leads’, is the brutal adage of journalism. If we scrutinise our history, simply consider the sensationalist headlines and stories created in the circulation war between Joseph Pulitzer's New York World and William Randolph Hearst's New York Journal (it hit its peak from 1895 - 1898). Rival companies angling to gain the attention of consumers is how cut-throat competition works.
What’s different is we carry a miniature computer in our pocket that is designed to reward the pleasure centres of our minds, and there are billions of stories, videos, music, games and images available to gratify our boredom itch with the swipe of a digit (or even through voice controls).
About fifteen years ago my husband removed himself from all social media accounts. At the time he told me, ‘I don’t like how it makes me feel’. It turned out to be a prescient observation.
As someone who was already moving into a writing career I had less choice in the matter and my day job meant I had to be on social media most work days. Looking back, I can see that this daily exposure and the growing sense that I must to be online, and seen to be online, cemented terrible habits.
Before you assume this is going towards a finger-wagging ‘all social media is bad, get off it immediately’ then you will be dismayed. Social media has brought terrific people into my life, and can be a source of fun. I learn new and cool information online all the time. It’s a vital conduit for research and remaining in touch with people.
I’m going to jump to the simple, but difficult solution, that moderation is the key. With a huge caveat that moderation of a hi-tech portable fascinator that is designed to hijack your attention is not as simple as putting down a newspaper, turning off a radio, or clicking off the TV.
I developed bad social media habits from about 2011-2019. I started seeing the negative impacts on me in 2016, after a rather famous election and the following political shift in the UK. I have some ‘lost time’ from that period. I was still working as a content manager and I found it difficult to reduce time on these sites because I had a custom of logging onto social media first thing in the morning, and that set my day up on a poor footing. I had constant low level anxiety as a result.
Intellectually, I knew that engaging with social media wasn’t a prerequisite in life, as I had several people in my orbit who had never been on Twitter, didn’t have a Facebook account, and were very content.
Slowly, I began to reform my habits. I have never abandoned Facebook or Twitter completely, but I started by severely curtailing my use of both platforms, and using filters. Currently, I enjoy my Instagram account the most because I use that to indulge my love of photography, and I’ve edited the accounts I follow there so they reflect subjects I enjoy.
Overall, my hardcore philosophy since 2016 has been not to spew out cranky messages on any platform or to believe that I can persuade or convert anyone to my opinion on any topic. I only suggest attention for films/books/comics/games/etc that I love and enjoy. This is not to say that I don’t believe in advocacy - I have a strong track record of practical advocacy throughout my adult life.4 I know you can make a difference in the world when you put in the work and effort with organisations who are actively engaged in helping others. Deeds not words are what make the difference.
Here are actions I take that have benefited my life:
I keep my phone in my office at night while I’m asleep
I mute all notifications on my devices
I get out of the house everyday and I take physical exercise
I try to meet people outside my spheres of specialisation
I encourage an open and curious mindset in myself
I remind myself of my good fortune daily
I look for beauty in the world and in people
I take inspiration from my friends and applaud their successes
I help people when I can
I meditate regularly
I try to be a good friend to others and to myself
I seek laughter and good company as often as possible
I donate to charity
I have people I can turn to when I need support, and I do the same for them when they need it
I have experienced periods of severe depression in my life and many of the above tactics sound simple, but they can be ridiculously difficult when you are struggling. If anyone is in a maudlin mood or feeling crotchety then I’d suggest picking up a book or going for a walk rather than going online to distract yourself from your uncomfortable feelings.5 Feelings and thoughts return eventually, so it’s better to develop strategies to cope with them rather than using social media to avoid them.
Mostly, I attempt to avoid judging others, but I am merely a human being who is navigating this strange (and often beautiful) world the best way I can. I do not have any secret code, and I don’t consider myself better than anyone else. Sure, there are terrible people on the Internet - or I should qualify: there are some people on the Internet who say terrible things. Others are bots, many are provocateurs, and some people are having a bad day and are venting.
They are all responding to an attention economy that rewards their bad behaviour.
(There are challenges that come with being a creator who is online but I'll tackle that in another newsletter.)
Whatever their back stories, the malefactors do not represent the entire world, but they will if that’s all you read.
Every time we have a shift in technology we have a resulting adaptation in culture and mores. This is no different from any other era, although it might feel overwhelming because of the noise from all the inputs to which we are subjecting ourselves. The pace of change is rapid, but we can learn to surf the waves rather than be tossed in the churn.
We don’t need to keep up with every trend, it’s okay to be your own weird self, and periods of quiet, and even boredom, are essential for deep thinking and revelation. Without realising it, I got that from being an introverted geek as a kid who learned to be comfortable being on her own, and had to improvise and search to find sources of her interests. How strange that I’m grateful for lessons that I didn’t realise I was learning when I was younger.
Being online all the time affects your perspective of how good or bad global events are progressing (depending on the feeds you are reading), robs you of the mental breathing space to take stock and to marvel at this extraordinary world full of wonderful people… if you don’t look up from your screens.
Sidebar: did you know that the annual World Happiness Report was published recently? Not only does it report on the happiest places to live in the world, but it details lifestyle trends and the impact of global events. For instance, they documented ‘a globe-spanning surge of benevolence in 2020 and especially in 2021.’
The other day, on one of my walks, I turned a corner and witnessed a spectacular Spring sunset. It was one of those moments that lifts your spirits up.
The following phrase floated to mind: ‘Chase beauty’.
It’s not a bad philosophy for dealing with this world.
Akira (1988) was a trail-blazing Cyberpunk movie (based on a trail-blazing manga), a genre that fetishised cool kit, weird bio-weapons, and predicted we’d all be working for the corporations, one way or the other, in the future. Cyberpunk remains a relevant genre though some of its specifications about ‘cyberspace’ have dated, but the overall underpinnings have not. Akira was one of the earliest films where I sought out the soundtrack, written by the brilliant Shoji Yamashiro (Tsutomu Ōhashi). Every time I hear the ‘Battle with Clown’ track, I can see the iconic bike chase through the futuristic Tokyo landscape.
I remember observing to someone back in about 2000 that blogging was like walking into an arena with a megaphone where everyone could hear you but you had no idea who was listening (plus, every comment was recorded). I’ve always tried to keep that image firmly in mind, because some platforms can feign a kind of intimacy that makes you forget yourself. Personas can be fake. IMs can be screenshot. Accounts can be hacked. A certain level of justifiable paranoia is required.
If you want to know more about this then read this article on the BBC and watch the documentary The Social Dilemma on Netflix.
I might venture into my history of working in Guilds and Unions at some point, but not today.
As with anything, there are no hard and fast rules. If you have a curated YouTube feed of puppies and kittens that buoys you up, then go for it - but just remember the algorithm will suggest other videos to watch that might bring you down again. I also suggest you subscribe to outlets such as Positive News. I can recommend the ‘brushy, brushy’ Reddit forum, which is delightful. But once you go online, chances are you will get distracted again. I keep re-learning this lesson!